Our Little Love Story : Part Two

I know, I’ve been keeping you on the edge of your seats waiting for the next part to our little love story. A couple weeks ago, I shared about how Logan and I met in Our Little Love Story: Part One. Go back and read that post to refresh yourself as we hop right into the middle of this love story. We left off with Logan sitting in his car for 30 minutes trying to gain the courage to come upstairs to tell me how he felt….

Now if Logan was telling you this part of the story he would say that he knocked on the door and then sat on the couch and poured out his heart to me and I said, word-for-word, “I like you, but I just don’t like you enough.” He would go on to tell you that I crushed him and broke his heart into a million pieces…. but that’s not how I remember it.  And no, I’m not lying just so you don’t hate me.
I remember sitting on the couch hearing one of my best friends tell me he had feelings for me and then go on to straight up ask me what I wanted to do about it. I remember thoughts running wild through my brain of all the ways this could end horribly and how I would lose my friendship with him (and probably some of our other mutual friends) over this little crush. I remember the feeling of anxiety not wanting to take the risk. I remember being terrified and rushed to say something (anything really) that wouldn’t cause everything to end right then and there…so I told him I did like him (I mean let’s get real, I still couldn’t get over how darn cute he was… even years after since I first met him in the neon orange sweatshirt) but I wasn’t ready to risk our friendship on a relationship YET. I mean, we had just graduated college… shouldn’t we be figuring out what we’re doing with our lives instead of getting involved in a relationship?!? I thought that by telling him I wasn’t ready to risk our friendship YET, it would buy me some time to figure out what the heck I wanted…. Unfortunately, he completely misunderstood (guys do that sometimes, right?) and only heard “I like you, but I just don’t like you enough.” Who knows if we’ll ever know what we really said during that pivotal conversation because we both remember it SO differently all these years later.

The second he walked out my apartment that night I had a horrible sinking feeling that I might have just ruined something really great. But I didn’t quite know what to do about it because I was so scared of losing him and his friendship. So the next couple weeks went by and I continued to think about what Logan said that night and I continued to have these anxious feelings.

It was Fourth of July 2010. We were in Ocean Beach with a couple friends. He was standing next to me, staring up at the big sky full of fireworks. I looked over at him and it finally hit me…This guy, who I felt incredibly blessed to call one of my best friends, was going to treat whoever he ends up with amazing and I didn’t want to sit by and watch that happen to some other girl (to be honest, that would have killed me). I knew right then that he was going to be an incredible husband and father. I could tell by the way he never gave up on pursuing me that he was never going to give up in a marriage. I knew right then that he was dedicated, focused, loyal and knew just he wanted… me. As soon as I realized this, I vividly remember every fear that I had of ruining our friendship or making this “awkward” went away. My feelings of anxiety turned into thankfulness that God had blessed me with this guy. I finally came to the realization that I could still figure out how to do this post-college thing and ponder what I wanted to my life, all while embarking on this new relationship.

Shortly thereafter, I went to Europe on a backpacking adventure with some of my best friends from college. Every night on that trip, I wrote Logan a letter before I went to bed. I couldn’t wait to get home and be his girlfriend.

We knew fairly quickly into dating that it was probably headed towards marriage but we were very cautious not to rush. Logan was constantly saying he was waiting until he knew we could work together through the big issues, that we could communicate without fail, things that you figure out with time… so I waited and waited…

I think you know where it’s heading, but trust me – there’s a BIG surprise around the corner.