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Drowning Out The Negative Self Talk And Learning How To Love Yourself As A Mom

Learning how to love yourself as a mom is all about drowning out the negative self talk. This is a must-read for any mamas struggling out there today.
Black and white image of mother kissing newborn baby that is wearing a diaper and crying

Nothing has made me feel more flawed and inadequate than motherhood.

285 days ago when I heard the first cry from my little man, I was not prepared.

I wasn’t prepared for the raw emotions of postpartum. I wasn’t prepared for that “mommy guilt” I’d heard of. I wasn’t prepared for the abundant need for grace. I certainly never imagined that I would need to learn to love myself in a whole new way after becoming a mother.

It wasn’t until I began to try (I say try because I haven’t quite figured it out yet) to love myself that I was able to settle into the grace of motherhood. The grace that we desperately need, but are so hesitant to accept.

Why are we anxious to become martyrs? Why are we so cautious to take care of ourselves?

Mamas, you must learn to love yourself above all else. There is a reason why the airplane stewardess says “in case of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting children or others around you”. The selflessness of motherhood is a myth. I’m telling you straight up…. the only way you are bound to fail in this whole parenting thing is if you don’t love yourself first. You will become drained. You will become empty. And when you are empty, you have nothing left to give to your children.

You must love yourself as a mom first and foremost so you can turn around and pour that love out to your children and husband everyday.

Black and white image of mother holding newborn baby with text overlay that says

That self doubt that is creeping into the back depths of your brain while you try to navigate the waters of parenthood is normal, but whatever you do…don’t let it paralyze you. Don’t let that voice win. You know what voice I’m talking about it.

There will be times when you sit on the edge of your bed crying alongside your fussy baby, thinking that you’re just not cut out for this mom thing. I know because I’ve had those times. You can’t even put him to sleep, you can’t raise him. But that voice is wrong. The fact that you are crying alongside him proves that voice is wrong. The fact that you’re holding him and hoping for some sleep proves that voice is wrong. You care from the depths of your soul, don’t you? Stomp out that voice by starting to love yourself as a mom. Drown out the negative self talk with reassurance that you can do this, you are not alone…and ya know, sometimes babies just don’t sleep.

Black and white image of newborn baby crying on the floor wearing a diaper and mom is holding hand

But, mama, there will be times when you are holding your little baby in your arms and you can’t help but cry tears of love because you don’t know how you could love a little human so much. Those are tears of gratitude. You feel so utterly blessed that God has trusted YOU this precious gift, don’t you? In these blessed moments, don’t let that voice in that says you are not worthy. Because you are.

God doesn’t make mistakes.

He didn’t create that little miracle for anyone but you.

You are worthy.

That baby in your arms is God’s little reminder that you are worthy. You are capable. You are blessed. You are honored to be called mommy. You got this.

Let that be the voice inside your head as you wake up every day with a mission to love yourself as a mom first and foremost so you are able to love your family.

Newborn pictures in black and white with baby wrapped in swaddle blanket behind held by mom and dad standing behind.

Photography by Natalie Puls Photography 

11 thoughts on “Drowning Out The Negative Self Talk And Learning How To Love Yourself As A Mom

  1. Nothing like motherhood to fill you full of doubts and anxiety! All that guilt! I’d like to say it gets easier as the kids grow but alas….. love the article thanks for sharing!

  2. YES! Love this. So true! I’ve often thought of the airplane analogy too. It’s not selfish to take care of ourselves, because we can only care for others if we take care of ourselves. Thanks for sharing! And congrats on your new baby. The first year is definitely the hardest! My youngest is 14 months now and at such a fun age… walking, waving, nodding, and sleeping a bit better (except for last night) LOL. 🙂 So nice to meet you through #BehindtheBlogger.

  3. Chelsea, I always feel guilty when I put my needs before my children and my husband. When my husband tells me to go out for a weekend with my girlfriends, I can’t help but feel that I am neglecting my role as mom. I think it’s a common emotions felt by most mothers out there. This is a great reminder that we need to focus on ourselves once in a while to be a more effective mom and wife. Thanks for sharing! Lilian

  4. I so needed to read this today! My sweet little girl will be 8 weeks old tomorrow. I love being a mom and cannot imagine life without her. I have thanked God for giving me the gift of my daughter, but I haven’t looked at it from your perspective. You’re right, God gave me this girl because I am capable. I may not be perfect, but I can teach my daughter how to become a better person that has positive self talk and self love. Thank you for your insightful words!!

  5. I’m now 60 something and a deliriously happy grandma of 7. I remember thinking , if I couldn’t get away from my kids, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. I know you all can understand that momentary thinking. Well, we would get a babysitter for a couple of hours and when we got home, I was so happy to see my kids, I would just smother them with kisses and tell them how much I had missed them.

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