Now if Logan was telling you this part of the story he would say that he knocked on the door and then sat on the couch and poured out his heart to me and I said, word-for-word, “I like you, but I just don’t like you enough.” He would go on to tell you that I crushed him and broke his heart into a million pieces…. but that’s not how I remember it. And no, I’m not lying just so you don’t hate me.
I remember sitting on the couch hearing one of my best friends tell me he had feelings for me and then go on to straight up ask me what I wanted to do about it. I remember thoughts running wild through my brain of all the ways this could end horribly and how I would lose my friendship with him (and probably some of our other mutual friends) over this little crush. I remember the feeling of anxiety not wanting to take the risk. I remember being terrified and rushed to say something (anything really) that wouldn’t cause everything to end right then and there…so I told him I did like him (I mean let’s get real, I still couldn’t get over how darn cute he was… even years after since I first met him in the neon orange sweatshirt) but I wasn’t ready to risk our friendship on a relationship YET. I mean, we had just graduated college… shouldn’t we be figuring out what we’re doing with our lives instead of getting involved in a relationship?!? I thought that by telling him I wasn’t ready to risk our friendship YET, it would buy me some time to figure out what the heck I wanted…. Unfortunately, he completely misunderstood (guys do that sometimes, right?) and only heard “I like you, but I just don’t like you enough.” Who knows if we’ll ever know what we really said during that pivotal conversation because we both remember it SO differently all these years later.